Unity!

So our church, the Refinery, has a great new concept called Refinery U (as in university) that allows us all to come together at church Wednesday night and then go take a "class."  We chose the marriage class with Roderick Logan, a great preacher and christian counselor.  Anyway, I was inspired tonight by his focus on the word "unity" and how crucial it is to have healthy relationships, especially in marriage.

Unity:  Oneness, agreement, harmony, peace

A lack of unity leads to a lot of strife, hurt feelings, even broken families and marriages.  What prevents unity?  We do.  I think it's in our sinful nature to keep striving to fulfill our OWN needs- to have other people conform to our hopes and expectations, rather than focusing on the giving.  Also, we grow weary when we rely on that person (or that role) to "fill us up" and we lose focus.  Why are we doing this?  What's the point again?

Well, let's consider what the opposite of the word unity may be.
Opposition, strife, division, egocentrism?

 A self-serving attitude creates division, and there's no way around that.

When it comes to family, (our church family or birth family), spouse, best friends, work associates, teammates, there HAS to be unity.  And,  as Roderick so simply stated, (and in regard to marriage especially) this requires three things:

1) Volunteerism (from everyone involved)-  You make a choice to give of yourself- no one can require this of you or demand it

2) mutual love- a CHOICE, not a feeling.  Something you decide to give unconditionally, that doesn't rely on what you receive in return. In hebrew, "ahav" which translates to "benevolance to the other at a cost to me."

3) mutual respect- usually requires a degree of self sacrafice and compromise, "choosing" your battles for the good of the other person (or the good of the vision)

If you find yourself in an "agreement" or a relationship where you feel burden and lack of unity, first take a look at your heart's attitude.  Are you lacking in volunteerism, love, or respect?  Have YOU lost the vision? If you feel irritated as you give your gift, it's not really a gift,but a disservice to the recipient.  Give as Christ gave to you.  This fact alone should be more than enough to carry us through when we feel "dry." 

Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His love for us, in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  NIV

1 Peter 3:8  "Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude."  -NLT